


Waking The Earth

by schneestern



Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-21
Updated: 2009-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:39:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6583555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneestern/pseuds/schneestern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: It's the zombie apocalypse and zombie!Jepha's trying to find zombie!Dan.</p><p>Warnings: There's no undead sex, but there's mention of all kinds of gross stuff (TU ARE ZOMBIES!), Quinn and Bert humping each other (while being zombies) and Dan giving Jepha a kiss (no tongue [while being zombies]). It's also really kind of fluffy. If any of that repulses you, you should probably read something else. </p><p>Notes: This was pretty much inspired by desticex's zombie!jepha picspam, which, for the record, is amazing. <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking The Earth

It's just past midnight when Jepha shifts out of the wet, black soil that surrounds him like a cushy bed. _Fucking cliche,_ Jepha thinks when he sees the others wobble around the cemetery, some of them still unsure of their newly-regained footing, others running through the night at top speed. Near the crypt a bunch of them are playing with a couple who probably came here in search of a quiet place to make out. There's ripped out arms and legs and the sound of the others smacking their lips in delight.

Slowly, Jepha digs himself out of his grave. He takes a look at the grave stone and frowns. There's a lot of typos on there. He turns to the side, looking for the others. Sure enough Quinn and Bert are already out, skin and tattered clothes hanging from their bodies. They're humping each other and sloppily making out.

Jepha sighs and looks the other way, but Dan's nowhere to be seen.

For a while Jepha sits on his grave and watches the other zombies mill about, uncoordinated and blood-thirsty. It's kind of undignified and Jepha's pretty sure that this is the worst execution of a zombie apocalypse he's ever seen.

Finally, he gets up and decides to find Dan. He walks past the others, leaving Quinn and Bert to have their undead sex. He half hopes Quinn's dick falls off again, that was kind of fun last time. Or it was fun until Bert started using it as a sex toy. Then it was just kind of gross.

Jepha grumpily trudges past the other zombies, faking his best undead walk when they look at him angrily. It's not like he cares if they judge him, but he's really a better zombie than they are even when he's not into it.

Distractedly he scratches at his leg and his hand comes away bloody, clumps of tattooed skin hanging from the nails. It makes Jepha kind of sad to look at his decaying tattoos, but the severed unicorn head at least looks a lot better half rotted off. Jepha plucks a worm from the flesh of his leg that's sticking out of the unicorn's eye and throws it aside. He hates worms.

He shuffles through the cemetery gates slowly, trying to stay out of trouble for the time being. The streets are already filled with screaming and crying people, running for their lives. Jepha's head hurts. People are kind of exhausting. He trips a zombie who rushes past him, one finger still sticking out of his mouth as he already chases for the next guy. That's just bad form, really. You finish your meal first before you go hunting for the next.

At the corner of Main Street a few cars are burning and Jepha vaguely wonders where the people came from again. He's pretty sure they all got killed last time. Maybe some of the other zombies mutated back to humans or something, Jepha's not a fucking scientist, so whatever.

He strolls past two boys beating an undead man with baseball bats. Jepha's a little impressed but chooses not to help the dead guy because he remembers him from around town. Guy used to work at the record store and always hoarded all the cool imports from Asia.

Jepha finds Dan at the ice cream parlor. He's sitting on the bench in front of it, watching the chaos around him with a fond smile. Part of his left cheek is missing, grayish skin exposed to the cool night air. He looks pretty fine otherwise. Jepha sits down next to him.

"What's up, Dan?"

"Some chick tried to eat me. Thought I was still alive."

"No shit." Jepha grins at Dan who grins back. "Rookie mistake, I guess. I told her no hard feelings and all that."

"How'd she take it?"

"Got hit by a car two blocks later. She was still kind of fresh."

They sit in companionable silence and watch as a group of football players runs past them, chased by zombie cheerleaders. There's the sound of a series of explosions in the distance and thick, black smoke is coming out of the bank across the street.

It's a pretty nice evening all in all.

"So, what d'you wanna do?" Jepha asks eventually and kicks at a piece of flesh lying in a puddle of ice cream.

"Maybe get a bite to eat and then head to the pool, see whose skin rots faster."

Jepha laughs. "You think we should get Quinn and Bert first?"

Dan considers it for a moment and then shrugs. "They'll find us once they're done being excited by their decomposing bodies."

They sit on the bench for a bit longer, Jepha thinking about Quinn and Bert humping each other's flaking skin off, while Dan distractedly picks at the peeling skin around the hole in his cheek.

A beat up fire truck hurtles down the street with equal parts human and zombie firemen on it. It wildly veers off the road, spewing water from a tank at the back. One of the undead guys is standing on top of the truck, holding on to the water hose as he rips his clothes off.

Dan gets up and evens out an imaginary wrinkle in his pants. He holds out his hand to Jepha.

"Really?" Jepha asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Dan says but his hand's still hanging in midair, skin rolled up over his palm like it's been pulled back on purpose.

Jepha finally gets up and takes Dan's hand, interlocking their fingers. Dan smiles at him and squeezes his hand in return. There's a wet pop as Jepha's pinky falls off. Dan's smile widens and he bends down, picks the finger up from the floor and stuffs it in his pocket.

"I'll make a necklace out of it," he says and laughs that idiot laugh of his.

Jepha's really kind of fond of Dan.

They start walking down the street, looking for a fitting meal that they don't have to chase. Jepha's already looking forward to the feel of the cool pool water on his skin. He feels kind of dirty. Good but dirty. Cemetery soil has a way of clogging up your pores in the most uncomfortable way.

Jepha dodges two zombies fighting over an over-sized foot and steps over a severed head sticking out of a hole in the pavement. Dan lets go of his hand and swings his arm around Jepha's shoulders instead. Jepha pulls at Dan's ring finger until it comes off, trailing bits of skin and bone. He sticks it behind his ear like it's a pencil. Dan gives him an amused look and leans over to give Jepha a sloppy kiss on the mouth.

It tastes like moths and decay and ice cream.

Jepha thinks that so far it's shaping up to be a pretty good apocalypse.


End file.
